How to Support Your Spouse Through a Life Transition: 5 Tips to Stay Connected

To build a lasting relationship, you have to learn how to grow through change — together.

Every marriage will face moments of transition. Some are exciting: a new job, moving to a new city, or having a baby. Others feel more difficult: entering perimenopause, aging out of a career you once loved, or coping with loss or unexpected news. Some changes are anticipated. Others arrive without warning. And some aren’t changes at all — but the painful absence of something you hoped would happen.

Even if your partner is the one going through the shift, the ripple effects usually reach both of you. How you show up during these times — with empathy, patience, and support — can make the difference between growing apart and growing stronger.

Here are five ways to support your spouse through a life transition:

1. Stay Emotionally Connected

During times of change, emotional connection is your anchor. Make space for real conversations — not just check-ins about logistics, but invitations to share what’s really going on inside.

Try open-ended questions like:

“What’s been the hardest part of this so far?” or

“What are you most hopeful about right now?”

These kinds of questions show that you care about how your partner is feeling, not just what they’re doing. And they open the door for empathy, validation, and closeness — even when the future feels uncertain.

2. Encourage Their Growth — Even if It’s Uncomfortable

It’s normal for one partner to grow or change before the other. Maybe your spouse is stepping into a new identity — a student again after decades in a career, or a parent facing an empty nest. Maybe they’re grieving a “non-event” — something they hoped would happen, but didn’t.

Whatever the change, try to honor their growth without rushing it or minimizing it. Give each other permission to be in flux. And when the time is right, start imagining together what this next chapter could look like — not just practically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Ask yourselves:

“What kind of life do we want to build now?”

“What would feel meaningful to both of us?”

3. Breathe Through the Hard Parts

Change — especially the unanticipated kind — can stir up anxiety, resistance, or even depression. You might feel helpless watching your partner struggle, or frustrated by how long the transition seems to be taking.

In these moments, it helps to come back to your breath. A simple tool I often share with clients is box breathing:

• Inhale for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

• Exhale for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

Repeat this three times. It activates the calming part of your nervous system and helps you stay present — with yourself and with your partner — rather than reacting from fear or overwhelm.

4. Make Time for Joy and Connection

During transitions, routines change — and often, connection falls to the bottom of the list. But even small moments of joy and shared activity can help you both feel grounded and united.

Go for a walk. Cook together. Watch a favorite movie. Do something silly. Make time to laugh.

You don’t have to solve everything today. You just need to keep choosing each other, moment by moment.

5. Ask for Help When You Need It

Some transitions are simply too big to navigate alone. If you’re feeling stuck, distant, or unsure how to support one another, couples therapy can be a place to slow down, tune in, and rebuild your connection.

You don’t have to wait until things fall apart. Therapy can help you turn toward each other — with more compassion, understanding, and hope.

Change is part of every long-term relationship. But disconnection doesn’t have to be.

With curiosity, patience, and a willingness to grow, you and your partner can move through life’s transitions together — and come out stronger on the other side.