5 Ways to Support Your Partner During Perimenopause

Perimenopause is a natural part of life, but it can feel anything but easy — for both the woman experiencing it and her partner. The hormonal shifts, physical discomforts, emotional swings, and life stressors that often converge during midlife can put serious strain on even the strongest relationships. But this time can also offer an opportunity: a chance to deepen your connection and support each other through one of life’s major transitions.

Here are five ways to support your partner during perimenopause — and your relationship — during this time:

1. Communicate Openly and Without Judgment

Perimenopause can bring mood swings, anxiety, and even depression, making communication more complicated than usual. It’s crucial to create a safe space for open, honest dialogue. Ask how your partner is feeling without trying to fix things immediately. Listen actively, validate their emotions, and share your own feelings too. Often, just being heard can make an enormous difference.

Tip: Check in regularly. Even a simple “How are you really feeling today?” can show you care and are paying attention.

2. Practice Patience and Compassion

Hormonal fluctuations, sleep disturbances, and physical discomforts like hot flashes or painful intercourse can leave your partner feeling irritable, fatigued, or withdrawn. It’s important to remember: these reactions aren’t about you. They’re symptoms of a major physiological change.

Tip: Instead of reacting defensively, try responding with patience and compassion. A gentle touch, a kind word, or simply offering space can go a long way.

3. Support Physical and Emotional Wellbeing

Small lifestyle shifts can make a big difference. Encouraging healthy sleep habits, regular exercise, stress management techniques, and balanced nutrition can help your partner feel better physically and emotionally. Offer to join them in these changes — whether that’s an evening walk, trying a yoga class together, or creating a relaxing bedtime routine.

Tip: Sleep issues are common during perimenopause. Help make the bedroom a peaceful retreat: keep it cool, dark, and screen-free before bed.

4. Stay Intimate — But Be Flexible

Perimenopause can change sexual desire and comfort. Libido may decrease, and physical symptoms like vaginal dryness can make sex painful. These changes don’t mean the end of intimacy — but they do call for creativity, patience, and sometimes, medical advice.

Tip: Redefine intimacy. Focus on closeness, affection, and connection, even if it doesn’t always lead to sex. And when it comes to physical intimacy, stay open to adjusting and exploring what feels good now.

5. Recognize That Midlife Is a Complex Time

Perimenopause often coincides with other major life stressors: caring for aging parents, launching grown children, career shifts, and facing mortality through the illnesses of friends or family. All of this can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, what’s affecting your partner isn’t just hormonal — it’s the weight of midlife itself.

Tip: Try to see the bigger picture. Talk about what’s going on beyond just symptoms. Acknowledge the emotional and life transitions you’re both experiencing, and remember you’re a team navigating this phase together.